wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Mom said you looked used
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize