there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
