So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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