no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
