i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
