Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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