My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
