Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
