They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
