So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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