TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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