I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
