Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
