you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i think my cat just said my name.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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