i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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