I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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