two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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