Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....