this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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