I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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