Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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