he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
