I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
