You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
