No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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