I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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