Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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