Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize