I'd wear matching sweaters with you
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
