I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
