Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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