The maid of honor just puked.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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