Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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