This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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