Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
sex in a hospital.. check
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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