I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
