and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
