I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
