Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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