It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
