Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
