I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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