why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
