what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize