If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
