i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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