he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
