We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
