I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize