well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
