How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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