I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
