my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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