he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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