Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
love makes seman taste better
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
