clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize