You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
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I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
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I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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