just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
