so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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